March 2009


And the # 1 Baseball Hottie is…..drumroll……..


Ryan Braun Milwaukee Brewers, LF


Shocked? You shouldn’t be.

Ryan deserves the top spot for sooooo many reasons. Why, here’s 10 of them now.

1. He’s hot

2. 2007 Rookie of the Year with a .324 AVG, 34 HRs, 97 RBIs and 15 SBs in only 112 games

3. Second to only Albert Pujols in hitting 30+ homeruns in each of his first 2 seasons

4. He’s hot

5. Top NL vote-getter for the 2008 All-Star game

6. Changed positions in his second season and didn’t falter (1.000 FPCT in LF vs. .895 at 3B)

7. Career .301 hitter

8. He’s hot

9. Broke a buttload of team records in his first 2 seasons

10. He’s hot


I think that pretty much sums up why I love Ryan. From day one, I’ve been following him extremely closely. Do you remember where you were when Ryan Braun made his Major League debut? I do. I was at Leff’s. I remember thinking, first, the kid was hot. (I can call him kid because he is actually a wee bit younger than I am.) Then, watching him play, thinking he was going to be one of the great ones. Two years haven’t quite passed yet, but I’m pretty sure that he’s already on his way.

So before I wax poetic about Ryan anymore, let’s just proceed to the pictures, shall we?


I know I’ve used it before, but I just love this picture. Ryan’s rookie season. Awe.


Opening Day ’08. This pic was from my phone. I was literally right there. Mark Attanasio was 4 rows in front of me. It was awesome. (Thanks, Nik/Bon Ton!)


I met Ryan!!! (And took the pic on a camera I clearly did not know how to use!)


Mol, (Fake) Ryan and Me on the videoboard at Miller Park.


Walk-off Grand Slam (I was there. It was magical.). Untucked shirt. See the hotness.

I love this man.



# 2

Chase Utley Philadelphia Phillies, 2B


What can I say about Chase Utley other than YUM!

Here’s a guy who’s got it all going on. He’s goooooorgeous. He’s a baseball player. He’s, um, well, I guess that’s all I need to make my knees buckle. And I suppose it helps that he’s an animal lover and has a World Series ring. (It does NOT help that his wife is so unbelievably pretty. Boo!)

I’m normally a channel flipper, in that I absolutely cannot watch commercials, but now that Chase is peddling that EAS drink, I find myself ogling. I’m getting help. It should be under control soon.

On top of being insanely amazing to look at, Chase is fun to watch on the field, too. The Phillies, over the last couple seasons, have become one of my favorite teams to follow. (Cole has already made the list, Jimmy with the honorable mention–but an overall great team to watch play. Hello? World Effing Champions!) Chase is another guy that is so intense on the field, but still looks like he’s having a blast every time he goes out there.

Utley has spent his entire career so far with the Phillies at, mostly, second base, although he’s stepped in at first from time to time. He’s a career .298 hitter and last season belted 33 HRs and had 41 doubles and 13 stolen bases. Chase has a couple Division Series under his belt, as well as the obvious NLCS and the illustrious World Series. Not bad. Not bad at all.

I am very much looking forward to this season’s Brewers-Phillies match-ups, particularly the final Miller Park homestand. I try to make it to the final homegame every season and the fact that it’s against the Phillies this year is just a perk. Although, I hope it turns out much better than the last time the Phillies were in town. I didn’t especially like them celebrating their entry to the World Series at my ballpark! 

But before I get all upset over that, here’s the picture of the Runner-Up Baseball Hottie, Chase Utley!


I don’t care that it’s staged dirt. So hot.



Could this be any cuter? I love him. And the puppy.


# 3

Skip Schumaker St. Louis Cardinals, 2B


For the sake of my sanity, I’ll be referring to Skip by his real first name, because, you know, he’s not 6 years old.

Jared quickly became one of my favorite guys to watch because of his intensity while playing. Everytime he’s at bat, it looks like he’s psyching himself out, like he’s mumbling little words of encouragement to himself, and I find that very endearing. And when he’s on the field, he’s all out. He may not be your prototypical power hitter or an award-winning fielder, but Schumaker is consistently good at what he does. He’s a career .299 hitter and 2008 was without a doubt his best season to date. Converting to 2B this season from the outfield might have an effect on his playing, but that’s yet to be determined.

What makes Jared so hot is, well, how overall hot he is. Again, here’s a guy with a great smile (he arguably has the best team photo), he’s built perfectly to my taste (not too tall, not to muscle-y), looks like he has fun on the field, yet still takes the game seriously–I just love Jared.

It’s kind of hard for me that the Cards are another big rival for the Brewers because I always find myself wanting to root for Schumaker. Not the whole team, just him. But I hold it in so no one thinks I’m a traitor.

Anyway, it’s time for the hot pictures. To the loyal readers, (King of Cali, I know you care!), I’m sorry for the 2-day delay. But the Hottie countdown has resumed and in a few days, it’ll be back to the Miller Park Opening Day countdown (12 days!!!)


Try to find a player with a better team pic than this guy.



Yes, I’m a sucker for the facial hair and great jawline.


Is it wrong to wish that I was being showered in beer, too?


# 4

Gabe Kapler Tampa Bay Rays, OF


I’m probably going to get it from Mol when she finds out that Gabe Kapler still has 3 people ahead of him on this list. But, alas, there is such a thing as being too muscle-y. Sorry, Gabe.

But the (overly) rockhard body isn’t stopping me from putting Gabe at # 4. He has a killer smile, looks great in a baseball uniform (even if it is no longer Brewers blue) and rocks the bald look like nobody’s business.

The single season Gabe spent with my team was pretty good. He got injured towards the end and unfortunately didn’t get to partake in the Post Season with the rest of the Crew, but he worked hard in helping them get there. He started 66 of the 96 games he played in and wrapped up 2008 with a .301 average. And this was after taking a year away from playing to manage for the Red Sox Triple A affiliate.

And this season, Kapler joins former Brewers Gabe Gross and Brian Shouse on the AL Champion Tampa Bay Rays.

Since Gabe Kapler is to Mol what Ryan Braun is to me, these pics come courtesy of her flickr page. Thanks, Mol!


kapler4 by molly.anna.

Gabe rocks the highsocks, too.


Me and Gabe Kapler2 by molly.anna.

Lucky bitch. Mol and Gabe.


# 5

Manny Parra Milwaukee Brewers, LHP


What’s not to love about a tall, dark and handsome lefty?

I knew there was something about Manny when I watched him make his Major League debut on July 20, 2007. (The night the Sausages celebrated my birthday.) He only pitched 1 1/3 innings, but had 3 strikeouts and maaaaaan did those high socks look good!


See? He and Dave Bush know how to make ’em work!

Anyway, I know Manny’s had some not-so-shining moments in his short career. He broke his thumb in August 2007 after only pitching in 9 games and wouldn’t make another appearance for the Brewers until the following season. He bounced between the starting rotation and the bullpen in ’08, but ended 10-8 in 29 starts.

But you know something else? Manny can hit. He’s got a career .226 AVG, which is pretty good for a pitcher, I’d say. I remember feeling a little bit better leaving the 7-2 loss against the Cubs last July because Manny smacked a double and a triple. And guess what? He only had those 2 ABs. Nice. Now if only Yovani could teach him how to hit homeruns…

I hope that this season Manny really steps up for the Brewers because lord knows the starting pitching isn’t all it could be. I think, though, that Parra, along with Yovani Gallardo, could really be the front-running pitchers in the years to come. But Manny, especially, needs to shine as the only lefty in the rotation. And I think, with his track-record in the minors (Hello? He pitched a perfect game in only his 2nd triple-A start!) he’ll definitely be up to the task.


You know, just another pic to prove the hotness!




Joe Mauer Minnesota Twins, C


Oh, Joe Mauer, why must you wear a mask? I suppose it’s to protect that gorgeous face of yours. And those perfect teeth.

The Brewers and Twins have a pretty big interleague rivalry, so I’ve seen quite a bit of Joe. And I most definitely like what I see. He’s crazy tall, has an amazing smile, big pouty lips. I mean, what’s not to like?

He got the starting nod last season for the AL All-Star team, finished 2008 with a .328 average in 146 games, he’s Minnesota’s Golden Boy. This kid (I shouldn’t really be able to call him that, since we were only born 3 months apart) is poised to be a great catcher for Major League Baseball. 

It’s kind of unfortunate that he’s been having back issues and hasn’t played all Spring. I don’t like seeing such young guys plagued by injuries like that, but that goes with the territory, I guess. Mauer seems upbeat and optimistic that he’ll be back on the field soon enough, though. So good luck to him and his recovery.

Until then, good thing there’s the internet, so I can still see Joe whenever I want to!



See? What did I tell you about that smile!

joemauer.jpg Joe Mauer! image by kariann2316_2006



So there’s another Hottie, folks. And there’s nother Brewer on-deck for Hottie # 5. Who will it be??

And Ryan’s back in action in Phoenix tomorrow! Yay!



JJ Hardy Milwaukee Brewers, SS


Oddly enough, JJ also wears # 7. That is purely a coincidence.

This hottie is partly responsible for turning my love of the Brewers into a slight obsession. I’ll completely admit that baseball is enjoyable to watch just for the sport alone, but that the eye candy really, really adds to it. I’m not ashamed to say I like the bonus of hot guys. Clearly.

The first Brewers jersey I ever purchased as an adult was JJs. And, you do remember my birthday cookie right? The frequent aim of my camera lens is towards JJ Hardy. One of my first Opening Day’s at Miller Park was spent going on and on with my girls about how cute he is.

Then someone told me they thought he looked like my brother. Kinda weird. I just shrugged it off with denial. Then another person said the same thing. And another. Then my mom said it. Then my brother’s girlfriend. And their daughter. And my JJ obsession wavered for awhile. How could I be so attracted to someone that looks so much like my brother? Uncool. I’m not saying my brother is unattractive, but JJ hot? Not so much. Either way, he’s dropped on the list because of the whole brother-JJ-look-a-like thing. Even though after I met him and saw him up close and heard him speak, I disagreed wholeheartedly.

Anyway, Hardy, as a player, has his ups and downs just like everyone else. He managed to finish out 2008 with a .283 average and 24 HRs, which isn’t too shabby. And so far this Spring he’s done pretty well, although, he doesn’t really have to battle for his roster spot.



No, that is not my brother.




That is my brother. Aside from the hat, there is very little resemblance.


 Mol and JJ in a fitting room vestible at work. I was hiding nearby in a stockroom and was too embarassed to come out after another coworker said to him, “That girl in there is fa-reaking out!” Come on, now. It’s not everyday I’m at work and JJ Hardy comes shopping! Although, Brewers-sightings are frequent there.

So, there’s another Hottie down, 6 more to go.

And only 18 days left til Opening Day at Miller Park!!!




Cole Hamels Philadelphia Phillies, LHP

Ah, Cole Hamels. I remember being on a date at Miller Park at the beginning of last season when Cole started against the Brewers. Let’s just say that if I was on the other side of the date, I would’ve been veeeeery sick of me going on and on about how cute Cole Hamels is. Although, he did get the loss that night. And I was on TV, so the night ended pretty well.

But then he started the first playoff game against the Brewers, and that was that.

Cole really did deserve the World Series MVP last year, as well as the NLCS MVP. Quite an accomplishment for someone so young. (He’s even younger than me. Ugh.) 

But, I’ve had a crush on this guy for the last few seasons. I think if one, he weren’t married (to a reality TV, um, “star”), and two, his hair had just a bit more body, he would’ve made it higher on the list. And, you know, if he weren’t so dominant over my team.

What I really like is Cole’s jawline. It’s very reminiscent of TV handyman Carter Oosterhouse, whom I also have a minor crush on.


My god, they could be brothers!




Okay, Cole’s a little less hairy.



Okay, that one was a bit unnecessary. I was just proving the point about the lack of hair. Yeah, that’s all I was doing.


And, PS, I just checked the Brewers v. Giants score, expecting the Brewers to still be losing, since Mark DiFelice and Carlos Villanueva had given up 8 runs in the first 3 innings, but I was pleasantly surprised to see a comeback on behalf of the Crew. One and a half innings left of play and the Brewers are ahead 10-9. Awesome.

And good luck to Team USA tonight against Japan!


I always represent!

I said as soon as Mol put up her pics from St. Paddy’s day, I’d get some on here because I was rocking my green Brewers shirt. I actually didn’t think it would literally be as soon as she posted them, but I had a last minute change of plans tonight and ended up home and bored.

Me, Nik and Mol at Paddy’s Pub in Milwaukee

Me and Nik. You can see the cute little Brewers shamrock a little better. Great buy, I’m telling you.

And, since I was bored tonight, I decided to knock out the shorts I’ve been meaning to make for weeks now. So, here’s a pic of those, too.

Hope you enjoyed the personal pics, because tomorrow it’s back to the Hotties!



Mark DeRosa Cleveland Indians, 3B


Okay, Brewers fans. I’m fully aware that DeRosa used to be a Cub. Why do you think he’s on the list? Think about how many times I’ve seen him in action. Besides, he only played in Chicago for 2 seasons out of a career so far of 10. There’s no denying he’s hot. I attended a Brewers v. Cubs game last season with a lifelong Cubs fan and the first time DeRosa came up to bat and they showed his picture on the scoreboard, we both said “Wow, that does not do him any justice.” I guess it was just nice to be able to bond over something, since the Cubs slammed the Brewers that night. Ugh.

Mark DeRosa can play any infield position pretty effectively, and he’s held his own in the outfield over the years, too. He’s one of those players that realized early on he’s a utility guy and that might not mean playing everyday, but it definitely means you’re always needed. I like that about utility guys. They’ll sit out if they have to, but are always willing to do whatever’s asked of them by their team. And that helps with the attraction.

Plus, he looks good in eyeblack.


player You can see what I mean about team pics not doing justice.


derosa.jpg Natural smiles work much better than “Sit here and put your hat on” team picture day smiles.


Tomorrow, #8.

And less than 3 weeks til the Miller Park Opener!!!